Re-challenged

Hi.

It’s been awhile, huh? I said I would keep you posted, and I have yet to do any posting. One of the reasons I wrote that in my last entry  was to try to hold myself accountable to actually doing it. I knew if I didn’t say something about that I probably would never write on my blog again. But I want to. Writing is therapeutic for me. It’s how I process things. And when I’m writing in a space where I think other people will read (i.e. not my personal journal), I try to make myself think positively instead of just complaining, so that means I usually end up challenging myself more than I expected to. It’s a good thing, this creative writing/processing.

So I guess this entry is supposed to keep you posted on how I am incorporating what I learned in Cambodia to my life here in the States. First of all, I’m going to be honest. I feel like since being back, I’ve just wanted to forget about Cambodia. It feels like such a long time ago and I’m okay with that. I am very content being here in Lancaster County, living with my parents, and working at Bethanna (a foster care/adoption agency) as a visitation social worker. But I have also recognized that I’m too comfortable again, just as I predicted from my August post. And God knew what I needed.

Over the last week, I have been reminded of Cambodia much more than any other week since returning stateside. I skyped with my good friend Jenny (who I talked about in two other posts) and that was SO life-giving and spirit-lifting for me! That was the first time in a long time that I have kind of re-lived Cambodia through words and memories and it was a good feeling. Then tonight, I went back and reread all of my blog posts. Wow. Talk about a flood of emotions and memories! AND talk about challenge after challenge! I re-challenged myself all over again! Living a life of passion and uncomfortableness (which I don’t think is a word) and talking to Jesus and prayer for broken lives and embracing brokenness and being thankful when it’s hard and keeping my head up when it starts to droop…do I need to learn all of these things over again? Maybe I’m just a little rusty and need a tad bit of oil in my spiritual joints.

I am reading a book of quotations I bought at MCC’s Gift and Thrift in Harrisonburg, VA called “Plain Living: A Quaker Path to Simplicity.” I really liked this quote from Frances Irene Taber, 1985. She’s talking about the way Quakers “came upon” their faith of simplicity.

“They saw that all they did must flow directly from what they experienced as true, and that if it did not, both the knowing and the doing became false.”

My we seek out Truth so that all of our knowing and doing is genuine and sincere.

 

Home again, home again, Jiggity Jig.

I’m home. And to be honest, I’m not quite sure what to write. I just felt like I should have a blog post that acknowledges that I’m back home.

I’ve been home for a week and a half already and that in itself seems really hard to believe. I’ve already been on a road trip to Ohio, gone to a wedding, visited friends and had lots of time to think. Maybe too much. No that’s not true. It’s not too much. I need that time. My first few days were easy and wonderful. The first thing I did when I got to my house was go out to my backyard, lay face down in the grass and take a big whiff of fresh grass mixed with dirt. I fully believe that that is a sacred smell. It is one of the most earthy, real, and natural smells in all the world and I didn’t smell it once while I was in Cambodia. I so desperately missed that smell.

So now I am back in a place where I am 100% comfortable, I love the smells, the food, and the quiet that seems to settle any worries I have. It really feels like I am on a retreat.

But it hasn’t been all easy. After those first few wonderful days (without jet lag too!) I was convinced that this transition was going to be a piece of cake. Well that piece of cake ended up smashed in my face, kind of like the cake that ended up on the faces of Shawn and Abbi, the bride and groom at the wedding I went to. Over the weekend I realized that people wear me out. Not because they are annoying, but because my spirit needs refreshment and the two things that most provide refreshment for me is time alone with Jesus and being outdoors in the quiet. So unfortunately, too much of anything else is just overwhelming. Especially when I’m still getting used to strange things about the United States that I had forgotten about – like the fact that it doesn’t get dark at night until 8:30pm and that we have coins as part of our currency and that there is no trash along the street that you have to walk through to get places. All of a sudden, I was confused, frustrated, crying, and tired much of each day.

So now I am recovering from the weekend. I am back home in PA, laying out on my hammock, letting the warm evening sun warm my arms and body through my black T-shirt from Daughters of Cambodia that declares a message of hope for the nations. I am looking up at the underside of one of our maple trees, and I remember looking up from this same hammock at the underside of the same tree one year ago and wondering what the next year in Cambodia would hold. Now I know. I know what that year held and I have to do something with that knowledge. What can I do with what God taught me while I was in Cambodia to make the struggles and days of tears worth it? That’s what I have to figure out over the next few weeks. I’ll keep you updated 🙂

Being Comfortable is Not Always Good

One week and 3 days ago I moved into Jenny’s house. Remember Jenny? She’s the one I talked about in my last post. Well, her roommate left Cambodia and it’s not very safe for a single young woman to live on her own, so I moved in with her for the last 2.5 weeks of her stay in Cambodia. She’s leaving August 20th, 4 days before me. After she moves out, I will move back in with my host family for the last few days. Anyway, I’m living with Jenny now, and let me tell you, we are having SO MUCH fun! Cooking, shopping, laughing, watching Gilmore Girls and other movies, eating yummy homemade desserts, dancing to Singing in the Rain – we have fun. What a blessing this change has been! I feel like God has been really gracious in giving me this experience right at the end of my time. It’s part of my transition back into American culture.

And yet, I believe God has blessed me with this experience for a different reason too. I am becoming complacent. This life – living like an American with an American roommate doing American things – is easy. Too easy. I have pulled away from Jesus during this time I have been at Jenny’s. Not intentionally, but it has happened. See, I don’t need Jesus as much since I don’t have daily frustrations from my host brother and sister or my host parents. I feel completely comfortable in her house, which was not necessarily true at my host family’s home. I don’t have to rely on Jesus for strength, which is a significant step back from my experience back in June when I was crying on the floor at work, at the end of my strength, and asking God to take over because I just couldn’t do it anymore. Yes, that time hurt and was hard and I would not want to do that again. And yet, I felt much more held by Jesus during that time. Now (by my own doing), I can kind of forget about Him if I wanted to.

Obviously, I don’t want to, and I will not just forget about him. But feeling so comfortable (I think maybe complacent is a better word) is not doing me much good. God is showing me that this is God’s way of preparing me to enter back into American culture. I have been praying for that for months – that God would prepare me for whatever my transition back will look like. I think He is giving me a small glimpse of part of it, and it’s not looking good. I don’t want to go back and be so comfortable being back home that it’s easy for me to have unintentional times with Jesus in the morning. I’m still spending time with Him, but it’s nothing personal…just reading Jesus Calling, reading my Bible, and reading whatever inspirational Christian living book I am reading at the time. But it’s not personal, and I miss that. So I’m working on it – working on talking to Jesus more.

You know what else this has made me think about? My whole life ahead of me. If I am going to live in the United States for my whole life, the chance of me having many more seasons of feeling “comfortable” are going to be many. I don’t want that. I want to push forward with passion. I want to seek Jesus just for the sake of hearing his beautiful voice speak to me in little ways. I want my life to be one that radiates Jesus because of the presence of His light in my heart every morning. And so I think I need to make a conscious effort to make myself uncomfortable. When I sense myself becoming complacent in my life, I need to force myself to go out and serve in a way that may not be my favorite thing to do. I don’t quite know what that looks like yet. Hopefully after having a chat with Jesus at one of those necessary times, He will give me a little hint as to what would bless Him. But I need to force myself to be uncomfortable. If I don’t, I will end up being a lukewarm Christian for much of my life. And I am just not at all okay with that. I want to need to trust God in every moment of my life.

Let’s work at pushing ourselves to not be comfortable or complacent. Let’s really seek Jesus, and when we start to get comfortable, let’s change some things around in our lives.

4 weeks…and other thoughts

4 weeks.

I remember when I had been here in Cambodia for that long and it had felt like FOREVER. I was thinking ‘how in the world will I EVER make it through a whole year of being separated from everyone I love and dealing with this culture that sometimes just drives me crazy?’ Khmer culture says it is acceptable to pick your nose in the middle of a conversation with someone else (and I mean, literally digging for gold). Khmer culture points out every physical flaw you have (which is not real helpful for my sensitive heart). Khmer culture lets their children poop on the floor and then parents clean it up using whatever clothing is lying around. Khmer culture just stands around and stares at a man lying on the ground with a pool of blood under his head after a moto accident, except for the one other man who is trying to do CPR on the victim’s BACK as the hurt man cries out for help, clearly able to breathe and in no need of CPR. Khmer culture makes fun of foreigners for eating mahob barang (foreigner food) all the time, and yet the Khmer don’t even try to eat it when offered to them. Yep, sometimes it drives me crazy.

And now that’s the amount of time I have left here. Just 4 weeks. Actually less than that. And I can’t quite believe it. I have been here 324 days and I only have 23 days left. But enough counting down. Count downs wear me out and make me more discontent, even though I do it all the time. My days are now filled with reading Jane Austen, learning Khmer songs, praying for Cambodia, hugs from my little host sister, eating cheyk chieng (one of my favorite roadside snacks), and attempting – sometimes successfully and sometimes unsuccessfully – to kill the deluge of mosquitos that seem to love my ankles. Oh, and despite all these time-consuming activities, I am still able to squeeze in 8 hours of work each day “J.

I am finding time to reflect on my time here. I just recently read through my daily journaling from this last year – all my frustrations, all my joys, all my moments of “Why am I here?”. Some things, I remember like they were yesterday. Other things, I had let slip from my mind, even though they were significant growing periods for me. I was also reminded of some attitudes and beliefs that I really struggled through at the beginning, which now come very naturally for me. I have learned, I have changed, I have grown. I have been blessed and I have learned better how to recognize those blessings. I have had tons of fun. I have been sick (typhoid and bronchitis at the same time? Not fun… Thankfully, both illnesses were mild). I have made memories. I have cried many many times. I have stepped into a parent role but I have also been treated like a child. I have been soaked to the bone in rain and I have been soaked to the bone in sweat.

This year has been so challenging (as I knew it would be) and yet so refreshing to my spirit. Phnom Penh is not a refreshing place. In fact, it was voted the 4^th worst country to live in in the world. A flattering achievement, I know. Most people get OUT of Phnom Penh to be refreshed, not into it. And yet, I am about to come back to the United States refreshed, wiser, more mature (hopefully), with a whole new way of looking at the world BECAUSE of having lived in Phnom Penh.. And that truly can only be a God thing. Only God can transform lives in this dirty, grimy city where pornography and lust and corruption rule, into lives that are more pure, more beautiful, and that produce more of God’s fruit. I just pray that the changes I have seen in myself in this half of the world follow me home.

Even with the recent election chaos and my host mom scared for our lives, my resolve to trust in God’s sovereignty is much greater than it was a year ago. I was reminded of this today when a dear friend of mine, Jenny Rasmussen, and I went out to a newly opened authentic Mexican restaurant for lunch yesterday.

That’s Jenny. She’s such a blessing! Anyway, we were talking about how much more prone to fear the Khmer are because of what they experienced in the Khmer Rouge genocide 40 years ago, and also the coup in 1993. I can understand why they are so afraid. And yet, Jenny reminded me that we are not ruled by a spirit of fear or timidity, but one of power and love. We can trust that God is taking care of His children. And that perfect love expels all fear (1 John 4:18).

I choose to trust You, Jesus.

As much as this culture and country sometimes drive me crazy, I am realizing how much I love Cambodia. Just yesterday, as I was praying, God struck me with such a love for these people and a desire for this country to change. I am not a political person. I have no desire to get involved in them, and to be honest, it has always been difficult for me to pray for my country or government. I’ve just never really cared that much. But ever since the election hype started, I can’t stop praying for a transformation of this country’s government. I can’t stop praying for God to just flip this system upside-down and rock the Khmer world with His grace and goodness. I can’t stop praying for love to rule this nation, not evil. I am surprised at how much I do love this country and these people. I guess there’s always going to be things about any country that we love and things we hate. Maybe it’s time that I begin to see America through those eyes too and start praying for our country, because God sure knows how much American needs prayer too. I need to start praying for a transformation of our country’s government and people. Start praying for God to just flip our system upside-down and rock the American world with His grace and goodness and accessibility. Start praying for love to rule our nation, not complacency and self-righteousness.

Let’s start praying, ya’ll!

Part of the election hype 🙂

Beauty from Ashes

I have been struck (again) recently with how sad the lives of our clients make me. We had a girl come in to our social work office today and just burst into tears. I went out and sat out on the stairs with her while we waited for her social worker to come from another building. I put my arm around her shoulders (even though I’m not sure how okay she was with that, since Khmer don’t usually use physical touch as a way to comfort a stranger) and asked her if I could pray for her. I spent some time praying for her, with only a slight idea as to what the problem was, based on what I already knew about her case.  We found out her husband had beaten her, AGAIN, and she was too scared to go home. We found an NGO for her to stay at over the weekend, only to find out later, she doesn’t want to stay there. She is going to stay at her sister’s instead, even though that is the first place her husband will look for her and he has already gone there to find her one time before – with a knife in hand. This guy is not my favorite.

We are afraid of having a stranger mug us and beat us up someday on the sidewalk. Imagine living with someone who you are utterly afraid of and who beats you up every day. We often are filled with a lot of fear thinking of someone breaking into our homes to steal something from us. Imagine having someone from inside your house steal things from you all the time and you have to sleep with your valuable possessions (such as a land title, you finally got paid off after months of high interest) wrapped in your arms across your chest to protect them. This is reality for almost all of our clients day in and day out, and it just struck me today how incredibly SAD that is.

I want hope. I want renewal. I want Jesus to just sweep through these girls’ hearts with the full power of the Holy Spirit and turn them into whole people with no remnants of trauma. And yet, God chose to give us, as humans, that job. Not to erase parts of these girls’ lives away like the trauma never happened, but to bring wholeness and hope and renewal to their hearts. God could do it on His own, and yet we truly do have a power to heal that God lacks. It is the power of being able to say “I’ve messed up too”. Yes, Jesus came to earth and learned what it was like to be a human, but He never sinned. As humans who sin like it’s our job (not that I am proud of that), we are able to go to another sinner and say “I’ve messed up too. I have hurt people I care about too. I have been cruel too. I know what it is like to hurt because of someone else’s sin.” And then we can extend grace out of our sin. God cannot do that because He has never sinned. That’s why we will do even greater things through the Holy Spirit than Jesus did. Because we sin.

I hate that sin is part of our world. I HATE that Satan delights in girls being gang raped and abused. I hate that my sin is as ugly as the sin my clients’ husbands commit which makes me so angry. But God is so good at bringing beauty from ashes and bringing good from evil, that even the fact that we sin and will always sin while on this earth, cannot hinder God’s power from working strongly through the weaknesses of His bride, His church.

So at our Friday church service that we have every week with the clients, I spent a lot of time looking out at the clients that I have come to know over the last 8 months that I have worked at Daughters. I do see beauty among the ashes. I know their stories – abuse on every imaginable level, betrayal, family members in jail, awful housing conditions, continually returning to the person who they imagine “loves” them – I see all those ashes and trauma that have been left behind after the fire. But I also see beauty. I see them responding well to a staff member who we have recently found out makes them feel like “prisoners”, “slaves”, and “rubbish”. I see them talking and laughing with each other, resting their hands on each others’ arms and legs like Khmer girls do so often. I see their beautiful smiles that give no hint to all the ashes that lay beneath the surface. And so God is faithful to bring beauty from the ashes. Just like always.

Am I a client?

I am so tired of being manipulated. I feel like so many clients just take advantage of Daughters’ generosity and desire to help. They tell us lies and work us against each other in order to get more money from us. I am being conditioned to not trust people and I find myself wanting to say no to helping people simply because I think they are just trying to manipulate us. I think that’s my pride – I don’t want people to think I am naïve and that they can walk all over me.

We have a client right now who I feel is manipulating us hardcore. This is the mother of a 9 year old girl who was severely raped last month by some gangsters. After she stopped bleeding 6 days after the rape and she was discharged from the hospital 2 days after that, we immediately moved her to a rent house out of the slums and into in an area near another NGO who could help her. This rent house was $60 a month which is at least double what they had paid at their other house. This was not a sustainable solution and now, after not having jobs for a month (which means they have not been earning money), they need help paying for a different rent house that is within their price range and close to an NGO that can help provide schooling for their three daughters. The frustrating part is that this client lies to us and to the other 2 NGOs who are helping the family, and tries to work us against each other in order to get more money from us.

It’s getting really old, really fast.

And she and her husband are blaming our NGO for not supplying their needs. They blamed us for putting them in a house that was too expensive. They blamed us for telling them we can provide jobs for them, but not being able to provide those jobs RIGHT AWAY. They blamed us for them not having enough food to eat, even though we paid her a full month’s salary despite the fact that she only worked 11 days of that month, which gave them PLENTY of money for food. And in addition to that, one of the other NGO’s also gave them 50 kilos of rice! For those of you who are illiterate in kilogram-pound conversions like I was (and still am) that’s 110 lbs. of rice! How do you eat 110 lbs. of rice in a month?!?! I’m just feeling a little frustrated with the lies and manipulation and constant demands for help (i.e. money).

But then I remember that I want to try to be more like Jesus. It’s amazing how many times in a day I have to remind myself of this. How would Jesus respond to that? No. The real question is how DOES Jesus respond to that? Because if I’m honest, I AM that client. And Jesus keeps pouring out grace and forgiveness and love. He keeps providing for my needs even when I am not thankful and when I just demand more and more from Him. I accuse Him of not helping me with my problems, when in reality He has already given me SO MUCH and continues to – I just don’t see it. Instead I focus on what I am not getting from Him. I am so much like our clients. This is giving me a chance to feel what God feels in a very small, minute, teeny-tiny, almost insignificant (how else can I express it?) way. Golly. It must be awfully hard being God. I could never do it (despite how many times I try), but then of course, I’m human.

We manipulate God day after day. We take advantage of God’s generosity and desire to help. We tell people lies and work other people against each other in order to get what we want. And yet God continues to give and continues to bless and continues to pour His holy self into our broken messed up lives.

What a gift of redemption! What a marvelous gift of love from God, who has never deceived or lied to us in His life (I guess I can’t really say that. God doesn’t have a life. He IS Life). How grateful I worship such a forgiving and gracious God!

God, forgive me for the times I am ungrateful. Forgive me for the times I choose not to see the blessings You pour out on me. Forgive me for being exactly the kind of person who frustrates me. Help me to understand and accept Your grace so I may be gracious to our clients in return. And give us all eyes to see the people who need our grace, especially those who we are more similar to than we realize.

This crazy, messed up world needs a hug

Well, I just finished talking with a girl who (for lack of better words) is addicted to being beaten. I can’t say I ever would have imagined that I would someday find myself in that sort of conversation. Here’s the story. This client came to our social work office one day after just having been hit by her husband outside our center. She came to us fearful for her life because he beats her every day and has tried to kill multiple times before. She said she was too afraid to go back home and wanted to find somewhere else to stay that night. We found a safe place for her, where she has been living since Monday. One of our social workers and I went to the house today to check up on her and see how she was doing. We weren’t really sure what the true story was because we were getting a very different story from her than from what she told the woman who runs that house. Pretty much, she needs lots of money for some debt, the source of which seemed to change every time we talked to her. After lots of asking questions and thinking we might have some semblence of a legitimate story, we asked her if she wants to stay at that house.

She said she wants to go back to her husband. She misses him. Okay, I know that happens often and we have seen many cases of that before in our other clients. Girls will go back to their partners who beat them, strangle them, burn their children – just so they can have someone to provide for them (or just eat their food) and to have a partner. That’s really important in this culture. But then we reminded her of how afraid she was when she first came to us and told us that she wanted to get away from her husband. We reminded her of the beatings she got every day.

She said all that is worth it, as long as she can be back with him. She said she WANTS to be that scared again – to fear for her life.

I just don’t understand. I don’t understand how someone can DESIRE to be beaten, especially by a man who currently has at least 2 other partners and has sold one of his children already, so it’s not like she can even pretend he is doing it out of uncontrollable love for her (which is the reason some men give). She somehow feels love through their fights and make-ups. It’s like she views love as “making-up”. That’s what love is to her – saying you are so sorry, even though you know it will happen again tomorrow. What a twisted messed up idea of love!

We sat there and prayed for her – prayed that God would open her eyes to His incredible love, to break the stronghold of addiction and messed up love that Satan has on her and her husband, and to show her the beauty of TRUTH. I so desire for her to know Jesus because to me, her life sounds like hell. If I could imagine hell, it would be something like her life (except devoid of any joy or beauty). And I think I might be pretty close because Satan has her wrapped around his finger, believing all of his disgusting, evil, and demonic lies. Oh, how grateful I am for the redeeming love and freedom we have in the victory of Christ over death and sin.

Precious Jesus, I thank You for bringing us Truth, Love, Freedom, Victory over darkness. Thank You for being all of those things. And right now I just lift up this client to You. I lay her at Your feet, covered in my tears of sorrow for how Satan has decieved her. I ask that You open up her eyes to You and Your compassionate, everlasting love. I don’t know how to express this mixture of sorrow, and anger, and love, and abounding joy I am feeling right now. But thankfully, You know it.  This is not my worry or my burden to carry. She is at Your feet and I will continue to bring her to Your feet. Jesus, please hug her. 

Bring Your beautiful Kingdom to this twisted world in the grasp of sin.

Jesus, hug this crazy messed up world.

The Enemy’s workers are out and about…

Well, I have been back to work at Daughters for a week now, after having 3 weeks off for the retreat, vacation, and just me-time (which I am loving more and more as time goes on). This is the first time I was really gone from work for more than a day since I started working at Daughters of Cambodia, and I realized I was nervous. I have my system of doing things that I have worked out and now someone else (Amanda, a wonderful woman from the UK who is like my supervisor) was going to be doing my role. I was nervous because I was worried it wouldn’t be done exactly how I did it, which obviously it wouldn’t be since we do things differently. Thankfully I was able to not worry about it while I was on vacation and just enjoy being away. 

Amanda did a wonderful job keeping up with all the admin stuff I have to do, in addition to keeping her responsibilities for the job she usually does, but nevertheless, there were some things that did not get done. So as I anticipated getting back into work, that made me nervous because I was afraid there would be too much to do. In addition to that, Amanda told me that there were two clients who were in serious domestic violence situations before Khmer New Year (one of the biggest holidays in Cambodia), and there was quite a bit of work that needed to happen when I got back to in regards to finding safe places for them to live and figuring out what’s next for them. This kind of thing usually happens around any major Buddhist holiday since there is so much spirit worship that goes on. That extra work made me more nervous, and I knew the week back would be very stressful. So I geared myself for that.

My first day back was calm. WOW! I only felt stressed within the first half hour, and after that, I finished tasks much more quickly than I anticipated. I even got some extra work done that I didn’t think would happen until this week! It was a very busy-productive day (which I’m learning to love), but not stressful. What a God-blessing! I praised God over and over again that day! 

The two domestic violence cases smoothed out and didn’t require as much work as we thought. I want to share them with you so that you can praise God for them, as well as to continue to pray for these clients. It will also give you a sneak peak into some of the common issues we find our clients dealing with.

Client #1 – She is a client we have been working with for a year or two. She has been using drugs (and denying it) for quite a long time, although not as regularly and as seriously as her husband. Her husband is an alcoholic, drug user, and lazy butt who hasn’t been willing to work to support his family for a long time – even when we have set things up for him. They have twin girls who are about 5 or 6 months old. The husband LOVES these girls and is a great father to them – when he’s not drunk or using drugs, which is not often. Right before Khmer New Year, he tried to strangle our client in her sleep and slept with a knife inside their mosquito net. She was worried he would stab her in the middle of the night to kill her (which happened to one of our clients last June). Anyway, over Khmer New Year, the family went to her husband’s family’s house in the province. While they were there, his grandmother talked with him about how to be a good husband and encouraged him to love his wife. Ever since they got back to the city, he has been a gem! He is helping out around the house, using sweet words with his wife (which is a phrase they use a lot here in Cambodia, which means calling her the Khmer equivalent of ‘honey’), and being very understanding with her. He stopped using drugs and drinking alcohol too! He even went and got a job with a decent salary ($90 a month)! Our client is so happy with these changes in her husband! Praise Jesus! Pray that these changes will continue.

Client #2 – Our other client’s story doesn’t have quite as happy of an ending, but at least for the moment, she is safe. This client has only been at Daughters for about 2 months. Her husband has been very abusive in the past and she has a scar on her neck where he cut her with a knife. She had moved out of that house and into a house with a friend. Right before Khmer New Year, her husband paid another of our clients to find out where Daughters’ center was. He came there during the work day and threatened her. After work, despite our efforts to get her out of work through the back door and home safely, he again paid a client to find out where her house was. That night, he went to her house and beat her badly. Amanda and the social workers worked hard to find an NGO or other safe place for her to stay over the holiday while we wouldn’t be working, but there was no place that had room for her to stay. She ended up staying with her sister, but not before her husband found her and beat her again. After Khmer New Year, she found a new house to live in, and we are working at keeping it’s location secret from her husband and from other clients, so the husband cannot pay off our clients for information. Some of the clients will do anything for money, especially if they have debts. The husband, however, still knows the location of Daughters’ center, so we are all a little bit afraid of what could happen if he comes back to the Center. Please pray for safety for this client, all of the clients, and our staff. But more importantly, pray that this husband would give up the chase. He says all he wants is their child so he can sell her, but our client will not give her up (thank goodness!) Pray for God to change his heart and to draw him to Himself.

Now I am back into the swing of  things at work and it’s going well. I have a choir concert on Saturday, a sleepover with an American friend when we are going to make lots of yummy food, and a renewed love for talking to Jesus. He is quite beautiful, isn’t He? 🙂 I love sharing my heart with Him. And when we share our hearts with Jesus and slowly our will becomes His will for us, the Enemy’s workers may still be out and about, but they have far less power in the marvelous light of Jesus Christ and His living presence! AMEN! 

Talking to Monkeys

I am sitting along the sands of Dolphin Bay, Thailand, relaxing in one of the occasional hammocks hanging between coconut trees. My toes drag in the hot sand as I gently rock my hammock back and forth to the rhythm of the breeze. The breeze is warm, but it is breeze enough to whisk away the sweat that threatens at my pores. I watch as the one or two people brave enough to be out in the hot water under the hot sun, splash in the tiny waves that roll into shore. And I thank God that I am here.

I wish I could say this and have it be true, but unfortunately I am too lazy and am enjoying my air conditioner in my room too much to actually go outside and relax in a hammock. But that gives you a picture of what I COULD be doing. And I really am thanking God I am here. It is so beautiful and relaxing, and it has been so refreshing for me. I guess I forgot to explain why I am here. I am at a retreat for missionaries from Anabaptist mission organizations who are in the Southeast Asian region. EMM is the biggest organization here, but there are others from MCC, Virginia Mennonite Missions, Mennonite Mission Network, and some others I forget right now. We have been here since April 3 and it has been a wonderful balance of relaxation, worship, sharing with each other, and delicious food! 🙂

Yesterday, a bunch of us kayaked over to an island called Monkey Island, known for the monkeys that rush up to tourists that come to see them. They know tourists have bananas and THEY WANT BANANAS. We brought LOTS of bananas and I’m pretty sure we fed those monkeys for the next 3 days. It was hard work paddling against the wind and waves to get to the island, but it was so worth it. I had so much fun feeding eager monkeys and trying to escape the king of the island when he jumped at us with bared teeth – SHARP teeth. But it was so life-giving for me. I don’t feel like I often get to do random fun things like that, so I almost felt like it was an afternoon of connecting with Jesus, even though, to be honest, I didn’t really consciously talk with Jesus at all. At the retreat, we are talking about unconventional spiritual disciplines and the importance of recognizing that our whole lives are spiritual, not just the times we are with Jesus. So I am claiming that my time with the monkeys was a way of connecting. I connected with the nature that God placed in my path by battling waves and wind, feeling the strain of my muscles as I paddled, talking to monkeys (naturally, I talked to them), and feeding them bananas. Despite my sore muscles and burning skin, I felt so refreshed after that trip – more refreshed than I did after any of the worship sessions.

I have also had a wonderful time with new friends and friends I have known for months. My roommate, Jamila, and I, have been sharing everything – our room, stories, every meal, cultural shocks to Asian culture, and laughter. It has been so good to have a dear friend to just hang out with all the time and share questions and frustrations with. I haven’t had that for almost a year – since I graduated from college. It is such a blessing, and I know after this year, I will never again take my close girl friends for granted.

Oh, the Irony…

I want to share a picture with you that has good and bad implications.

So the gate on the right is where I work every day! I thought it would be fun to share a picture of my workplace with some of you. I work on the second floor, and the daycare for children of working clients is on the first floor.

The building on the left is an apartment that was for rent for a long time. Recently, someone bought it and turned it into a massage parlor. Unfortunately, we are pretty sure it is also a brothel. Irony – a brothel next to an organization that works to help girls escape from that captivity.

I just would really like prayer for this situation. It could be really good if some of the workers at the massage parlor find out what we do and decide they want to change their lives. However, it could also be really bad if some of our clients know about it and decide they want some easy money near our center. Pray for Jesus’ blood covering and God’s protection over our building, our clients, and over the workers at the massage parlor. I just really hope we can use this as an easy way to spread the love of Jesus. It seems like maybe it is an opportunity to do the work God calls us to do at Daughters that God plopped right in our laps.