I’m home. And to be honest, I’m not quite sure what to write. I just felt like I should have a blog post that acknowledges that I’m back home.
I’ve been home for a week and a half already and that in itself seems really hard to believe. I’ve already been on a road trip to Ohio, gone to a wedding, visited friends and had lots of time to think. Maybe too much. No that’s not true. It’s not too much. I need that time. My first few days were easy and wonderful. The first thing I did when I got to my house was go out to my backyard, lay face down in the grass and take a big whiff of fresh grass mixed with dirt. I fully believe that that is a sacred smell. It is one of the most earthy, real, and natural smells in all the world and I didn’t smell it once while I was in Cambodia. I so desperately missed that smell.
So now I am back in a place where I am 100% comfortable, I love the smells, the food, and the quiet that seems to settle any worries I have. It really feels like I am on a retreat.
But it hasn’t been all easy. After those first few wonderful days (without jet lag too!) I was convinced that this transition was going to be a piece of cake. Well that piece of cake ended up smashed in my face, kind of like the cake that ended up on the faces of Shawn and Abbi, the bride and groom at the wedding I went to. Over the weekend I realized that people wear me out. Not because they are annoying, but because my spirit needs refreshment and the two things that most provide refreshment for me is time alone with Jesus and being outdoors in the quiet. So unfortunately, too much of anything else is just overwhelming. Especially when I’m still getting used to strange things about the United States that I had forgotten about – like the fact that it doesn’t get dark at night until 8:30pm and that we have coins as part of our currency and that there is no trash along the street that you have to walk through to get places. All of a sudden, I was confused, frustrated, crying, and tired much of each day.
So now I am recovering from the weekend. I am back home in PA, laying out on my hammock, letting the warm evening sun warm my arms and body through my black T-shirt from Daughters of Cambodia that declares a message of hope for the nations. I am looking up at the underside of one of our maple trees, and I remember looking up from this same hammock at the underside of the same tree one year ago and wondering what the next year in Cambodia would hold. Now I know. I know what that year held and I have to do something with that knowledge. What can I do with what God taught me while I was in Cambodia to make the struggles and days of tears worth it? That’s what I have to figure out over the next few weeks. I’ll keep you updated 🙂
Wholeness restored...Beauty pursued 