I am so tired of being manipulated. I feel like so many clients just take advantage of Daughters’ generosity and desire to help. They tell us lies and work us against each other in order to get more money from us. I am being conditioned to not trust people and I find myself wanting to say no to helping people simply because I think they are just trying to manipulate us. I think that’s my pride – I don’t want people to think I am naïve and that they can walk all over me.
We have a client right now who I feel is manipulating us hardcore. This is the mother of a 9 year old girl who was severely raped last month by some gangsters. After she stopped bleeding 6 days after the rape and she was discharged from the hospital 2 days after that, we immediately moved her to a rent house out of the slums and into in an area near another NGO who could help her. This rent house was $60 a month which is at least double what they had paid at their other house. This was not a sustainable solution and now, after not having jobs for a month (which means they have not been earning money), they need help paying for a different rent house that is within their price range and close to an NGO that can help provide schooling for their three daughters. The frustrating part is that this client lies to us and to the other 2 NGOs who are helping the family, and tries to work us against each other in order to get more money from us.
It’s getting really old, really fast.
And she and her husband are blaming our NGO for not supplying their needs. They blamed us for putting them in a house that was too expensive. They blamed us for telling them we can provide jobs for them, but not being able to provide those jobs RIGHT AWAY. They blamed us for them not having enough food to eat, even though we paid her a full month’s salary despite the fact that she only worked 11 days of that month, which gave them PLENTY of money for food. And in addition to that, one of the other NGO’s also gave them 50 kilos of rice! For those of you who are illiterate in kilogram-pound conversions like I was (and still am) that’s 110 lbs. of rice! How do you eat 110 lbs. of rice in a month?!?! I’m just feeling a little frustrated with the lies and manipulation and constant demands for help (i.e. money).
But then I remember that I want to try to be more like Jesus. It’s amazing how many times in a day I have to remind myself of this. How would Jesus respond to that? No. The real question is how DOES Jesus respond to that? Because if I’m honest, I AM that client. And Jesus keeps pouring out grace and forgiveness and love. He keeps providing for my needs even when I am not thankful and when I just demand more and more from Him. I accuse Him of not helping me with my problems, when in reality He has already given me SO MUCH and continues to – I just don’t see it. Instead I focus on what I am not getting from Him. I am so much like our clients. This is giving me a chance to feel what God feels in a very small, minute, teeny-tiny, almost insignificant (how else can I express it?) way. Golly. It must be awfully hard being God. I could never do it (despite how many times I try), but then of course, I’m human.
We manipulate God day after day. We take advantage of God’s generosity and desire to help. We tell people lies and work other people against each other in order to get what we want. And yet God continues to give and continues to bless and continues to pour His holy self into our broken messed up lives.
What a gift of redemption! What a marvelous gift of love from God, who has never deceived or lied to us in His life (I guess I can’t really say that. God doesn’t have a life. He IS Life). How grateful I worship such a forgiving and gracious God!
God, forgive me for the times I am ungrateful. Forgive me for the times I choose not to see the blessings You pour out on me. Forgive me for being exactly the kind of person who frustrates me. Help me to understand and accept Your grace so I may be gracious to our clients in return. And give us all eyes to see the people who need our grace, especially those who we are more similar to than we realize.
Wholeness restored...Beauty pursued 