4 weeks…and other thoughts

4 weeks.

I remember when I had been here in Cambodia for that long and it had felt like FOREVER. I was thinking ‘how in the world will I EVER make it through a whole year of being separated from everyone I love and dealing with this culture that sometimes just drives me crazy?’ Khmer culture says it is acceptable to pick your nose in the middle of a conversation with someone else (and I mean, literally digging for gold). Khmer culture points out every physical flaw you have (which is not real helpful for my sensitive heart). Khmer culture lets their children poop on the floor and then parents clean it up using whatever clothing is lying around. Khmer culture just stands around and stares at a man lying on the ground with a pool of blood under his head after a moto accident, except for the one other man who is trying to do CPR on the victim’s BACK as the hurt man cries out for help, clearly able to breathe and in no need of CPR. Khmer culture makes fun of foreigners for eating mahob barang (foreigner food) all the time, and yet the Khmer don’t even try to eat it when offered to them. Yep, sometimes it drives me crazy.

And now that’s the amount of time I have left here. Just 4 weeks. Actually less than that. And I can’t quite believe it. I have been here 324 days and I only have 23 days left. But enough counting down. Count downs wear me out and make me more discontent, even though I do it all the time. My days are now filled with reading Jane Austen, learning Khmer songs, praying for Cambodia, hugs from my little host sister, eating cheyk chieng (one of my favorite roadside snacks), and attempting – sometimes successfully and sometimes unsuccessfully – to kill the deluge of mosquitos that seem to love my ankles. Oh, and despite all these time-consuming activities, I am still able to squeeze in 8 hours of work each day “J.

I am finding time to reflect on my time here. I just recently read through my daily journaling from this last year – all my frustrations, all my joys, all my moments of “Why am I here?”. Some things, I remember like they were yesterday. Other things, I had let slip from my mind, even though they were significant growing periods for me. I was also reminded of some attitudes and beliefs that I really struggled through at the beginning, which now come very naturally for me. I have learned, I have changed, I have grown. I have been blessed and I have learned better how to recognize those blessings. I have had tons of fun. I have been sick (typhoid and bronchitis at the same time? Not fun… Thankfully, both illnesses were mild). I have made memories. I have cried many many times. I have stepped into a parent role but I have also been treated like a child. I have been soaked to the bone in rain and I have been soaked to the bone in sweat.

This year has been so challenging (as I knew it would be) and yet so refreshing to my spirit. Phnom Penh is not a refreshing place. In fact, it was voted the 4^th worst country to live in in the world. A flattering achievement, I know. Most people get OUT of Phnom Penh to be refreshed, not into it. And yet, I am about to come back to the United States refreshed, wiser, more mature (hopefully), with a whole new way of looking at the world BECAUSE of having lived in Phnom Penh.. And that truly can only be a God thing. Only God can transform lives in this dirty, grimy city where pornography and lust and corruption rule, into lives that are more pure, more beautiful, and that produce more of God’s fruit. I just pray that the changes I have seen in myself in this half of the world follow me home.

Even with the recent election chaos and my host mom scared for our lives, my resolve to trust in God’s sovereignty is much greater than it was a year ago. I was reminded of this today when a dear friend of mine, Jenny Rasmussen, and I went out to a newly opened authentic Mexican restaurant for lunch yesterday.

That’s Jenny. She’s such a blessing! Anyway, we were talking about how much more prone to fear the Khmer are because of what they experienced in the Khmer Rouge genocide 40 years ago, and also the coup in 1993. I can understand why they are so afraid. And yet, Jenny reminded me that we are not ruled by a spirit of fear or timidity, but one of power and love. We can trust that God is taking care of His children. And that perfect love expels all fear (1 John 4:18).

I choose to trust You, Jesus.

As much as this culture and country sometimes drive me crazy, I am realizing how much I love Cambodia. Just yesterday, as I was praying, God struck me with such a love for these people and a desire for this country to change. I am not a political person. I have no desire to get involved in them, and to be honest, it has always been difficult for me to pray for my country or government. I’ve just never really cared that much. But ever since the election hype started, I can’t stop praying for a transformation of this country’s government. I can’t stop praying for God to just flip this system upside-down and rock the Khmer world with His grace and goodness. I can’t stop praying for love to rule this nation, not evil. I am surprised at how much I do love this country and these people. I guess there’s always going to be things about any country that we love and things we hate. Maybe it’s time that I begin to see America through those eyes too and start praying for our country, because God sure knows how much American needs prayer too. I need to start praying for a transformation of our country’s government and people. Start praying for God to just flip our system upside-down and rock the American world with His grace and goodness and accessibility. Start praying for love to rule our nation, not complacency and self-righteousness.

Let’s start praying, ya’ll!

Part of the election hype 🙂